Not sure what to categorize this one as
My Cows
A rogue adventure in cattle rearing.
I own a small herd of cattle in the Volta region of Ghana. I grew up attending summer camps with names like “Farm and Wilderness” and “Farm Camp” which, looking back on it, was a brilliant way to get kids to do free labor. After connecting with a herder while I was abroad, I decided to go into business for myself.
I rented a car on Facebook Marketplace and purchased my first three cows at a cattle market. I continue to work with the aforementioned herder, who’s become a friend, to raise these cows. I am oft asked if I balk at the ethics of owning and raising cattle for slaughter. So long as I continue to eat beef, not at all. Those two things are not morally distinct whatsoever, and if anything, if I’m going to eat beef, I ought to understand what it takes to put it on my plate.
Against my better judgment, many of them have names. I give naming rights to friends to curry favor, but somehow they converged on a naming convention, so most of the cows have names like Moosilini, Moo Ze Dong, Benjamin Netanyamoo, and King Henry the Steak. I occasionally run funding rounds and give out equity stakes in my cows.
| Name | Sex · Breed | Acquired | Cost | Status |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kamoola Harris | Female · Gudali | Aug 2025 | $666 | Expecting |
| Moo Ze Dong | Male · Gudali | Aug 2025 | $428 | Holding |
| Mooslini | Male · Gudali | Aug 2025 | $380 | Holding |
| Queen Elizabeef | Female · Gudali | Aug 2025 | $489 | Holding |
| Dairy Queen | Female · Gudali | Aug 2025 | $791 | Expecting |
| Benjamin Netanyamoo | Male · Gudali | Sep 2025 | $441 | Holding |
| Troomp | Male · Gudali | Sep 2025 | $486 | Holding |
| King Henry the Steak | Female · Gudali | Jan 2026 | $935 | Expecting |
| Kim Jong Moon | Male · Gudali | Jan 2026 | $748 | Holding |
| Awaiting name | Calf · Gudali | Feb 2026 | — | Born into herd |
| Awaiting name | Male · Gudali | Feb 2026 | $456 | Holding |